I’m not sure why I still post here.
I guess it’s just because I like putting my thoughts down somewhere.
Maybe it’s because I want someone to know about my deepest thoughts.
I can’t explain all the things going on in my life right now.
I’m in the throes of love (to some extent) with the girl of my dreams.
But I’m also struggling with a number of things, such as my weight, outer appearance, the things I feel inside and overcoming my personal roadblocks.
Okay, maybe I’m making it sound a little worse than it actually is, but I honestly have never felt all these things before, at least not this intensely.
I try to have a positive outlook on things by telling myself all the things in my life will be in order a few months from now, but isn’t that what I told my self three months ago?
Well, life could certainly be worse, and I’m pretty fortunate to be in the situation that I’m in, but somehow I find my self stuck - stuck, waiting for…
Something.
Maybe we won’t work out in the end, but I’ll sure as hell give it my best shot.
I wasted so much time.
Just thinking about her, when she was mine from the start.
But now, I’m happy.
None of this matters anymore.
Sometimes I feel like she feels the same.
Sometimes I feel like I’m nothing more than a friend.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve come to this realization, but I’m still nervous as ballsacks around her.
That’s all I have to say.
I threw the container
I threw and I missed
A bottle of feelings
Of love in a mist
-
This cyst of emotions
Just waiting to burst
It waits another night
This time’s not the first
-
Can’t speak when I’m with you
Choke up around you
The silence is piercing
My thoughts overflow
-
But maybe I can win
I really think I can
Am I making progress?
Maybe you’ll never know
-
But soon the time shall come
To throw my little jar
And it will hit the sky
As I wait for the next
Things have changed a little since my last post.
I still love her.
She still doesn’t know.
I still get nervous when I’m around her.
I still want to reveal to her my true feelings.
Well, I guess not much has changed at all, after all.
Someday, I hope she knows, but maybe this is just a lost cause?
Today was… Awkward, to say the least.
Tomorrow should be interesting as well.
My favorite 30 minutes of the day are now gone. Poof. Bye-bye. See ya later.
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